And here we go again

Hopefully it is just the anticipation that's got the worse of me right now.... but probably not. Remember last post, where I was so excited to finally have my house (at least downstairs) back? And how it was supposed to happen this weekend or early in the week?

Well, at 1:30 am.. when Chris decided to come to bed, he told me that, lucky me, I get to stay with his dad all next weekend. Great. It's only going to be the FIL and me. Face to Face. From early Friday morning until late Sunday afternoon. His caregiver has to go back to Cali for a funeral, and will be gone for 2 weeks (vacation time). He leaves Tuesday. Then Chris is leaving to go to Houston Friday morning to recruit a couple players. This trip has been planned for almost 2 weeks and cannot be missed. So that leaves me. Not only am I worried about just being around him (ugh) but what if he falls? or has an accident in bed? I cannot lift him from the floor, I had a hard enough time pushing him up from his chair. And I sure as hell am not going to change sheets that have been peed on. We can talk later about how I'll do it when we have kids. But not for my FIL. Should I even have to??

Probably an even bigger negative: I was supposed to go to Boston on Saturday with my friend Devin for a Melaleuca conference. Now I have to cancel my plans when I have made it clear that I don't want to deal with him anymore. Does this make me sound, well, bitchy?

But, what can I do? A funeral and a work obligation are 2 pretty legitimate reasons to have to leave. God, give me the strength to make it through without going absolutely insane.