It's been awhile..

... but I promise that I have legitimate reasons.

To start: school is done for the summer and I only have one more year left! I cannot wait to be done with school!

So finals.. part of the reason I have been MIA

The real reason that I have been gone was because my great-gramma passed away, she was 86. Some people may not be too close to their great grandparents because they may have never met them. My Gramma was a huge part of my life and I miss her deeply. I got a call that she was in the hospital on Thursday, and they did not expect her to make it through the weekend. Needless to say, I packed my bag and started my 5 hour drive to NY. I got to Elmira around 9:30 pm, and luckily she was still mentally with us. She asked me how I got there so fast and if Chris was with me. Around 10pm, she fell asleep until 4am. I will spare the worst parts.. but I did not leave the hospital until she passed Monday morning. I took care of her thrrough the worst parts. I was/am still pissed about the whole experience. She was supposed to be receiving comfort care, but for a full day, she was not. She had CHF and her kidneys were completely shot. All Friday my mom and I held her and listened to her cry because she couldn't breathe and she was scared. My mom (an RN) kept suggesting something to make her more comfortable, it came 7 hours after she asked for it. Friday was absolutely devastating on my mom and I. The rest of the family went home to get some sleep and showers, but while they were gone we took care of her... I'm bawling right now even thinking about it.. At one point she just looked at me and said "Just hold me". I lost it. I curled up in bed with Gram, held her, and lost it. She kept throwing her arms out to "push St. Peter away" Finally, she was able to have peace Friday night. The rest of my weekend was spent holding her hand, washing her face, giving her water, and crying by her bedside with most of my family. I am sorry if this is too personal, but this, surprisingly, is helping me. She was a wonderful woman who cared about her family more than anything. She had 6 kids, 22 grandkids, and 18 great grandkids. I was part of the "4 generation", Gramma Wightman, Gramma Gee Gee, Mom, and I are all the oldest of our .. groups? We were unbelievably close and as much as I hate that she is gone, I am happy she is finally at peace.

RIP Mabel Mae Carl Belawske Wightman 03/25/1925- 05/09/2011

Losing them wouldn't be so hard to take, if Heaven wasn't so far away.